Friends want to support each other during difficult times.  Supporting can be rewarding and satisfying, as well as confusing and sometimes frustrating.  Some things to remember when you are offering help to a friend who has been stalked, assaulted or threatened are:

• Your friend may be unsure of what they want to do next.  Follow your friend’s lead and allow them to make the ultimate decisions about which resources they prefer to contact for help. 
• Remember not to get caught up in being the only one that your friend uses for support.  Most of the time, a professional will be an important referral.
• People are often afraid that they will be blamed for being victimized, especially if they were drinking, out late, or otherwise acting in ways that they may believe “invited” abuse, assault or stalking.  Remember to remind your friend that they did not ask or deserve to be hurt, scared or harassed.
• It may be embarrassing for your friend to reveal details of the experience or the events leading up to a dangerous situation.  You are not an investigator.  You don’t need to know details that are difficult for your friend to talk about.
• None of us wants to feel weak or helpless.  For many of us, asking for help seems to be one of the hardest things we may ever need to do. Assure your friend that asking for help is actually showing strength and courage.
• We often assume that the kind of help that we would like is the kind of help that our friend wants, too.  However, each of us differs in what we want and can accept. 
• All along the path of helping your friend, ask before touching them, taking care of phone calls or emails for them, or making sure that they are always with someone.  Not all victims want to be constantly in the company of friends, although some do not want to be alone.
• Because each situation is different and because the way in which your friend responds may seem unfamiliar to you, it is not unusual to feel a sense of frustration or helplessness yourself. 
• Remember that you can always consult confidentially with CARE to help your friend and to get support for yourself.