For Your Amusement

Top 10 Reasons College Students Are
Looking Forward to Thanksgiving Break :

10 : You'll know that your turkey is a Butterball rather than a Grade E yet semi-edible fur ball.

9 : Your mother will not be serving your mashed potatoes and stuffing with an ice cream scooper.

8 : Pumpkin pie is a great alternative to green Jello.

7 : After your eighth glass of cider, your emergency dash to the bathroom will not be delayed by having to line the seat with toilet paper.

6 : Clean underwear, comfortable bed, access to a car, bedroom larger than a 12x14 cell... OK, even if it is for only four days.

5 : To eat your meals the only trek you'll have to make is from the couch to the kitchen, rather than the dorm to the dining hall...in below freezing weather.

4 : Instead of listening to "when I first started teaching here..." you can be entertained by "when your mother was your age..." and "during the Depression we weren't lucky enough to have brussels sprouts. Heck, all we could afford was the sprout!"

3 : You can eat your corn steamed with butter rather than popped in your microwave

2 : You'll know the hair in the shower drain is your own.

1 : You won't be eating your Thanksgiving meal off a tray!

from paralumun.com/jokesthanksgiving

Twas the Night Before Finals
by: Andrew Hund

Twas the night before finals, and all through the college,
The students were praying for last minute knowledge.
Most were quite sleepy, but none touched their beds,
While visions of essays danced in their heads.

Out in the taverns, a few were still drinking,
And hoping that liquor would loosen up their thinking.
In my own apartment, I had been pacing,
And dreading exams I soon would be facing.

My roommate was speechless, his nose in his books,
And my comments to him drew unfriendly looks.
I drained all the coffee, and brewed a new pot,
No longer caring that my nerves were shot.

I stared at my notes, but my thoughts were muddy,
My eyes went a blur, I just couldn't study.
"Some pizza might help," I said with a shiver,
But each place I called refused to deliver.

I'd nearly concluded that life was too cruel,
With futures depending on grades had in school.
When all of a sudden, our door opened wide,
And Patron Saint Put-It-Off ambled inside.

His spirit was careless, his manner was mellow,
When all of a sudden, he started to bellow:
"On Cliff Notes! On Crib Notes! On last year's exams!
On Wingit and Slingit, and last minute crams!"

His message delivered, he vanished from sight,
But we heard him laughing outside in the night.
"Your teachers have pegged you, so just do your best.
Happy Finals to all, and to all, a Good Test!"

Quotes for Thought:

"Intellectual growth should commence at birth and cease only at death." ~Albert Einstein

"How did it get so late so soon? Its night before its afternoon. December is here before its June. My goodness how the time has flewn. How did it get so late so soon?” ~Dr. Seuss